Dear Western Hemisphere:

There is but ONE 'e' in my name. In all of it. It is at the end of Louise. There is no 'e' in Ivy. There never has been. You know how in science the correct solution is generally the most simple and/or elegant? Adding an 'e' in the middle of IVY is not simple OR elegant.

IVY

That is how you spell my name. See how there's no 'e'? It's like the plant. Or the villainess. Also, in my e-mail address, in the 'from' field, you can see that there is no 'e' in my forename. There just isn't. So, when you are replying to an e-mail that I sent YOU, you will please spell my name as it came to you originally, because, believe it or not, despite my low-ass GPA, I can in fact SPELL MY OWN NAME, and there is NO 'e' in IVY!