Oh.

I'm not entirely sure why it annoys me so much when articles and people use the phrase "lesbian relationship" when describing the lives of people like Elizabeth Bishop or Virginia Woolf. I think it's an unnecessary modifier. If Virginia Woolf ran off with Vita Sackville-West, who is a woman, their relationship was obviously gay. Why is this difficult?

(Insert ten minutes' rumination and some tea here.)

Wait, I know why it's annoying. It's because the use of the modifier marks it as different. "Lesbian" is the modifier one would use when desiring to mark the otherness of a relationship, particularly those who think that we oughtn't be getting married.

I cannot describe how deeply it hurts to realise that a friendship I had was not true. I was patiently waiting for someone to think over her prejudice and realise that my marriage will in fact be blessed.

I did not realise that she was not thinking about it, and did not want to.