19 March 2008

I've Got your Marriage Right Here.

My greatest fear is that Amber will leave me. Not voluntarily; I know her well enough and trust her and know she would never do that. That does not change the fact that something heinous could go down, healthwise. The only thing that I can think of that would make that worse is something like this.

Now, I managed to get away with fronting that I was James' sister when he missed his dismount, but that was luck; I did not expect them to believe me for a minute. I am not, in fact, sure that they did and maybe they decided it was ok since there weren't any medical decisions to be made (because, DUH, he was going to have surgery, like now), and further, if worse came to worse I would have bit the bullet and said fine, he's my husband, dammit, now talk to me.

(See what sacrifices I would make for you, O Keys.)

Last week, in the emergency room, the triage nurse did not bat an eye at the presence of either of them (James was along for comic relief). But stuff like the above linked just makes my entire insides go numb. What if, for example, I had been hit in the head and knocked out and there was an ambulance. How would Amber have been treated? Granted, we have not fully formalised ourselves.

However, years ago when my Aunt C and Uncle W were engaged, she, along with another aunt (N) who was not formalised were in a horrible wreck on the way to Kerrville for a bridal shower. We were mightily freaked out and my mom, my elder aunt, my grandmother, me and my sister hauled ass to get there. My mom's youngest brother (Ch), who at the time was the boyfriend of the latter wrecked aunt (N), had called us to tell us about it, and him his soon-to-be brother-in-law (W) were on the way up and we met them there.

The short of it is that since we were there my grandma could speak for C, her daughter, and I younger and don't remember much about the technicalities, but I do remember that Uncle Ch said that Aunt N was his wife.

No one asked for proof.

Now, were it me and Amber in that situation I would not be able to claim that at all.

My long-winded point is that there are those among us to say they love -me- and know that there is nothing wrong with -me- but that gays shouldn't be allowed to be married because of one or more of the following:

a) It is not God's plan
b) It's just wrong
c) Kids need a mother and a father (so, all widowed, divorced or otherwise single parents lose their kids?)
d) Gays are pedophiles
e) et cetera

To you, I now say this: YOU are WRONG.

Sarah in Chicago eloquently states why (specifically regarding the linked article):
To all the people that have qualms about us gaining marriage rights ... you are responsible here. Your bigotry contributes to this. There is no grey on this matter, no middle-road. Either you think gays and lesbians are equal to straights, or you don't.

You can't expect to merely 'disagree' on this matter and think we're going to somehow magically respect you for that. This is not a matter of merely agreeing to disagree on an issue; this is about you saying we don't deserve having full civil rights, and somehow we're supposed to respect that?
Emphasis mine. This is not a debate regarding the merits of radishes or whether or not MLB players get paid too much. This Is About People's Lives.

This is about -my- life. Think hard about how you would feel if the above happened to you. The situation is not different. If you cannot have the empathy to understand why this is important, then you may want to reconsider your definition of love. Denying someone the right to be with their loved one, whether your particular denomination thinks it is allowable or not, is not love. It is bigotry, and it is hate. So either reconcile with the fact that you are a bigot in this instance, or analyse your new information and change.

And know this: Wherever she goes, I will go. Wherever she lives, I will live. Where she dies, I will die, and there I will be buried. May God do this (death) and much worse to me if I let anything but death separate me from her.

And that damn well includes your bigoted laws.

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