05 January 2006

Warning: Self-righteous Religious Diatribe Ahead

Pat Robertson has declared that God smote Ariel Sharon for withdrawing from Gaza. Sounds like he and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad should meet for drinks since they both think so little of the guy. I reckon they'd get along just peachy.

Robertson needs to get a life already. If God were passing out diseases and cerebral haemorrhages for sinning (not that I evenmuch agree that withdrawing from Gaza was a sin), then we'd all be stroking out, twenty-four seven. I'd have probably carked it by now. Of course, the fact that Sharon is seventy-seven and hideously overweight is totally not a reason for him to have a stroke. Medical science? Oh hell no! Can't have any of that! SIN! SIN, I tell you!

Hey Pat, what sin was it that my great-grandmother committed when she had a stroke in 1998? What did my grandma do when she died of cancer in 2000? Did I get this head cold because I stubbed my toe and cussed last week? God is NOT an almighty accountant, loser. If He were, your ass would be toast, bastard. And so would mine, and so would everyone else's.

Get a life, and/or get off the air, dude.

Incidentally, since when is only Israel "God's Land"? What is He, Walt Disney? The whole joint is His land, dumbass. He created it. All His. Sooner that everyone figures that one out, the better off we'll be. One million people watch the 700 Club every time it airs. So at least one million people are being influenced by this asshat, who thinks:

-- We should assassinate Hugo Chavez, the president of Venezuela. I'm sorry, what? So does that mean that random fuckwits from other countries can call for Bush's head? Hmm?

-- San Francisco should be left to the terrorists.

-- Dover, Pennsylvania is going to be smote.

-- Oh, and the homos are responsible for every hideous thing that happens. Especially the World Trade Center. Because me and Aud were flying the planes and all. Asshat.

Someone seriously needs to get this dude off the air. He's so busy making money that he's apparently forgotten the greater part of the New Testament, if he ever knew any of it (or followed it) at all.

On behalf of my fellow fuckwit Christians, I apologise. I swear we aren't all like that.


Blogger Citizen said...

Robertson is a serious tool. He makes outrageous claims about God's punishment everytime something bad happens to someone he doesn't like. He probably says the same thing when his next-door neighbor, with the dog that poops on his lawn, bangs his shin. "Oh, that's God's punishment for your sinning fleabag, Mr. Jones! But send $100 to the 700 Club, and I will pray for you on national tv!"

Tell me, oh Pat, since you obviously have Jesus' personal cell number... if natural disasters and medical mishaps are God's punishment, what are Texas and Oklahoma's sins for the fires of the past week? I can guarantee you there are people in those regions who think it's hell on earth...

11:28 AM  

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